tough love...

TOUGH: [tuhf], strong and durable; not easily broken or cut, not brittle or tender

LOVE: [luhv] a profoundly tender, passionate affection for another person, a feeling of warm personal attachment or deep affection, as for a parent, child, or friend.

Wow, those two words put together is some serious stuff! Strong, not brittle or tender, yet tender & passionate all at the same time. Why can't our kids understand this? As a younger person, lets say ages 15-26 (and I'm sure my parents could vouch for the exact years), I had no clue what the true meaning of tough love was. In my eyes, it wasn't love at all, it was simply that my parents found pleasure in punishing me. Well, now that I have a child old enough (18 in 8 days to be exact), I can totally relate to the true meaning of tough love.

I hear the words he says to me (and I know deep down inside he doesn't really mean them) and I reflect back on my childhood. Hmmm, I've heard these words before. "you don't understand how I'm feeling", "I can't wait to move out", "I hate you", they go on. We all know them because we've all said them. Don't you know? Parents are STUPID (well, at least until we either have a life changing event or have children of our own).

 

My point is, when my kids make bad choices in life there are consequences. When I discipline them, whether its my 5 year old or my 17 year old, it's because I love them. No, I don't get pleasure out of it becuase nine out of ten times, I'm being punished too! I discipline because I want them to know how to be respectful, hard working men when they grow up. That's tough love. It's tough to take things away from your kids (it hurts my heart); whether it's their keys, their phone, their TV time, or if they get a swat on the rear or soap in their mouth. I LOVE THEM, that's why I'm doing it. Hopefully, next time when they decide to smart off, not do something they are supposed to do, or make any other bad choice, they will listen to that small little voice telling them it's probably not a good idea!

 

"Train a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not turn from it." Proverbs 22:6a

 

 

Until next time...